Jake's July 23, 2012 post...

Well first off if you want a satchel you need to put in about 70 dollars. And just let me know if you did that and I'll try to get it for you. But it's pretty nice and it will last because its leather. Well changes were last week. And the first night my comp elder Williams took a big crap in ht bathroom and it clogged the toilet. And we plunged it and it didn't do anything. So we got a flexible stick from outside to unclog it. But it didn't do anything. And by this point the bowl was filled with crap. And I mean full. So we were all joking with a youth in the ward. We asked him to stick his arm in and we would pay him 50 pesos. But we dint make him do it. So elder Sorensen who is in the house with us voluntarily stuck his arm up to his elbow in crap to find the problem. It was epic gross and funny at the same time. We all took videos. at first he's explaining the situation then he just goes in to the bathroom and starts doing a gag and laughing thing then he just shoved it right in. it was so gross. He was not trying to throw up and he eventually just backed out because he couldn't find the problem. It was awesome and he is my new hero. And in our house of 4 missionaries we just talk nerd stuff. We are all white and nerds before our mission. So it's like I'm at home. We just speak nerd and English. And we have an investigator who has been one for 2 years and she can finally be baptized. She had problems with a divorce and she's living with another man. So she broke up with him and she's ready. We just need to wait to have the dust settle. But I'm so excited. And I think we will be famous for baptizing her. Oh and I got another guys info for the scripture cases because the others weren't as good as I thought. So this other guy is from Argentina and I heard they were really good. And also my pictures on my phone. What's the situation because I think you can copy them on the memory card and then email them to me. And also the mailing situation here is bad. So I guess there is a strike in the postal system here and they don't allow anything to get in or out of the country. So it's bad. So I had a surprise birthday card for dad in the mail. So if he didn't get it sorry. It's late but HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!!! So that's why it's been weird here. Love you all and talk to next week. Oh and congratulate Halen and his mission call for me. That's so cool. I met a guy here who lives in Columbus Ohio. I need to get his info so he can contact and baptize him. Weird huh?? 
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Con Amor  Elder Salmond

Jake's July 17, 2012 post

Well I found out my change for 6 weeks..... Drum roll.....I'm staying in T-bo. Yippee. I like it here and I'm glad I'm staying. And my companion is going to Colonia. It's a place famous for the missionaries almost starving to death. The members don't give anything to the missionaries and there is a lot of apostasy. But he will o good. And I'm getting my first white companion. It's elder Williams. Yay. I heard he is a big joker. And he's lost about 80 to 100 pounds in his mission. Wow. Well I'm glad everything went well for the holidays and the parties and all. I just worked. And it was awesome. We had 6 people in church and one is being baptized this Saturday. The only problem is that his mom is really anti Mormon. So that can be a problem. Oh and I went to a leather shop for a satchel and I put in very specific details and the leather too. And we agreed on the price of 1300 pesos. So a week later I went to go pick it up and he asked me we agreed on 750 pesos. Is that right. So I said yes, paid the guy, and then ran out of there. So my bag was 550 pesos less than the original price we agreed on. Heck ya! It's a miracle or a sin, I don't know. But it's super nice and it's just big enough to put all my books in. way cool. And today we played dodgeball as a zone and during one of the matches I got drilled in the nuts hard. It dropped me. My companion just called me a baby. But I didn't care. I just wanted to throw up. And someone also stepped on my hand while I was down. But my balls hurt worse. Oh and the thing with the memory card is that all of my photos are there but I just can't see them. So my companion helped me fix it and now I have all of my photos. I'm so relieved. Well what's new at home? Is it hot, because it's cold here. oh and if you guys want an authentic Uruguay meal, just cook some plain white rice and put mayo on top of it. And bam!! There is a common meal I eat. I have eaten more oils, fats, and mayo here than my entire life. They put oil on everything. And then put mayo on top of that. So I'm pretty used to it. And they wonder why they have health problems. Well I hope everything is going good. Talk to ya'll soon.....

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Con Amor  Elder Salmond

Jake's e-mail from yesterday

So what’s up with the pictures? At the pizza joint there is a random brown kid. Huh? But all of the other pictures remind me of home. Ah home what a place to be, but I’m here in Uruguay my new home. Where the grass is filled with trash and the people don’t shower in a month. And the air is filled with the smell of bread and ‘mate’ (chimarrão). It’s pretty nice down here because we are in winter so it’s really cold at night and during the day it’s bearable. But I love it so. So some quick things. I saw a commercial for the new Spiderman. It looks intense and I want to see it. And I saw a commercial for Falling Skies too. Epic. And I heard that Windows 8 came out. Or in the near future. Pretty cool. I almost forgot it was the 4th of July. But one of my leaders told me it was. So that was good. Well I went into a leather shop this week to fix my shoes. It’s a long story but let’s just say my shoes melted in front of our heater. But I walked in and they took my shoes and I also asked if I could have them make me some stuff out of leather and they said yes. So I put designs in for a leather satchel. Freaking sweet. Oh and I also bought a wallet of leather with hair still on it. Cool. And a cup for ‘mate’ (chimarrão). But I have to go pick up my satchel on Wednesday. I’m pretty excited for it. It’s going to be 1300 pesos or about 65 dollars. Not too bad for a custom made leather bag. I don’t know but I have been dreaming a lot about home lately. It’s bugging me. I don’t need to be more trunkie than is necessary. Ugg now my English sucks. I can only speak in Spanish or Spanglish. But hey that’s a good thing right. Oh and about my pictures on my phone there is an option to place them on the memory card then you can extract them and email them to me. But it’s pretty funny that Ethan found them. I guess he’s a smarty pants. And our area is dying again because we haven’t found a new person in like 3 weeks now. It’s hard but I love the area. Do you guys have any advice of how to find people or contact or work with the members? I need all the help I can get. Well I hope you all are having fun and try not to get into too much trouble. Chau..

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Con Amor  Elder Salmond

Jake's July 2, 2012

Well Montevideo was pretty fun. We went to a place called independence plaza. But in Spanish of course. And it was really cool. There is a really famous building there and I ended up being a couple of little things. Including a pipe to smoke weed. Cool huh. And we ate at California burrito. It was really expensive but super delicious. It was about 10 dollars for a little burrito. But it was worth it. And this is the only time that I need to sign legal papers. They just took my finger print and my signature. Pretty easy. But I really don’t like Montevideo because it’s too fast and I don’t feel special. Everyone as a white shirt and tie. But I don’t know about my money. It had to have been another missionary because nothing else was missing and it was only missionaries in our house. But don’t worry because I told president and he was furious about it. And I mean furious. So he’s going to deal with it. And this week I kind of got a break. Because two missionaries were doing service and one of them tagged his leg with a machete. So it was bad. So I told them to use my super glue to seal it. So they did and then he came to my house to rest it because our area had no plans that day. So I literally stayed in bed all day and watched movies. Our area had no plans because we dropped all of our investigators. But this missionary wanted to go to the hospital to get stitches but they said the super glue worked and wasn’t necessary. So we just stayed inside all day. Pretty fun huh. But the cut was super huge and I think you could see bone. It was on his shin. But I saw him today and he was playing soccer even though the doctors’ said not to walk on it for 3 days. And I also found 100 pesos in the street a couple of days ago. I guess I’m just lucky huh. Oh and I was given an email from the brother of another missionary. And in this email this man described step by step of how to get investigators to church. And well I followed those steps and we got 5 in the church this Sunday. I’m so happy. But also in this email this brother said in one area he had 170 baptisms and always 27 in the church. Wow. So if you could send advice of how to talk to people or contact or work with the members tell me please. We are kind of stuck again in this area. Love you allllllll bye....

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Con Amor  Elder Salmond

Jake's June 25, 2012

Well today is a lot different than other days. I’m going to explain why.
I received a text message from our zone leaders on Friday saying I
needed to go to Montevideo to sign legal papers to be in Uruguay. So
today at 2 in the morning I boarded a bus with my companion and
headed to the capital. It was only five hours. It was long and I didn’t
sleep that much either. It’s weird how awkward it is to ride in a car
when I haven’t ridden in one in 4 months. But I’m here in the terminal in
Montevideo called Tres Cruses. It’s the center for all mail and buses
here in Uruguay. If this place were to be destroyed the country would
fall apart. And there is a lot of places to buy stuff here. But I can’t
buy anything because my money was stolen. So I’m a little bummed, but
what can I do. And everyone from my group in the MTC too. We just
traded stories and stuff. It was nice. But I’m going to be spending all
day here in Montevideo, but the papers is only two hours long. So I
guess we are going to do site seeing. Oh I’m thinking of buying
McDonalds or Burger King. I’m so excited. But it’s so freaking expensive
here. Wow. It’s like 10 dollars for a combo. But I think it’s worth it.
It’s funny too because one of our companions in our house thinks I left
to do special changes. Because he saw the text and we explained that
there are problems so I had to switch areas real fast. He was bummed.
And he told everyone in the ward I was leaving too. How funny. So when
we told him it was a joke he was so mad. We have it on video too. And
now he has to explain to everyone that it was a joke. I laughed for a
long time on that one.

Well that is so cool that you had success at Squeaky Trees. I miss
squatching a lot but I’m here. It sounds like you had a blast. You
had a ton of activity and you may have seen one....oooo scary. Wow. Yo
quero etar con ustedes pero yo necasito estar aca. Entonces yo puedo
servir el señor. Tengo mucho animo y algnos veces esty triste. Les
extraño mucho. Pero la cosa es que tengo solamente 15 meses mas. Wow.
No puedo creer. Mi tiempo aca is muy importante para mi. Y tambien lo
siento si ustedes no entienden este español o yo no escribio muy bien.
Y yo escribio este español solo.

How did you like that Spanish? I hope you enjoyed it. So life is still
the same there huh. Interesting. Life here is a lot different from home.
More than I can explain. Everything is different here. From the people
to the sounds the dogs make. Because in the USA its bark but here its
wauw. Weird huh.

Well I hope you all have a good week and try your hardest to do what
is right. Sometimes it’s not easy but it’s worth it.

Wow I’m tired...bye
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Con Amor  Elder Salmond

Jake's June 18, 2012

well the letter wasent very long so  im going to write some more. even though i dont know what to write.hmmmmmmmmmm well... i recived a list of all the bad word and phrases in spanish from another missionary. haha. they are super bad but now i will know what those mexicans are saying. and i think im satring to gain somme wieght becasue they feed us a ton here. its kind of sad but oh well. oh and i found out that someone stole 3000 pesos from me.i dont know who but im a little sad and mad, but what can i do...ao howa the weather back in the states. oh and i was thinking of the photos from my phone and did you just look in the memory card or did you accsess my phone memory too. i think i have pictures in my phone but not in the card. so you could check that too...i really dont know what to write. i kind of have a head ache right now and im hungary but we dont know what to make for lunch. i miss the food back home because we have such a varitey of food and types. here its rice, noodles, potaoes, and thats about it. i want food from mexico or china or just from home. i dont know thats one aspect i miss the most. oh and you guys. love yall 

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Con Amor  Elder Salmond


well we had thew baptism of lucas on saturday. and the cool thing was that he invited his family to go too. and his family really enjoyed it. and his mom cacme to church the next day and she was crying during the confirmation of lucas. ya feel the spirit hahaah. i think if she gets baptized then her family will too because she has the pants in the family. oh and im still sick too. its been like 12 days now. wierd but im just going to tough it out. and this week has been really storm as well. last night i got soked and it was cold. but none of my books got wet so im happy. and i have been thinking alot of how time has been zipping by here. how about home is anything diffrent. has the time been going slow or fast. i dont know i kind of miss home but not tooo much. so how is halen doing. im going to send another letter after this one so sorry if this one is short. love yall. oh and the wierd fact for this week was i tried to count how many dogs i saw in one day. well lets just say half way thru the day i lost count at 50. wow uruguay...


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Con Amor  Elder Salmond

Jake's June 11, 2012 email

Well some news is that we have another baptism this Saturday. It’s a boy named Lucas. His family is so freaking awesome. They just have a problem going to church. But with time and his baptism I think it will change. It’s interesting this third change with my companion... we both felt that we didnt put our 100 percent into the work our last change. So we are going to change that. The thing we struggle with the most is finding new people. It’s gone dry and for awhile so we need to start looking. So for the past week we have just been knocking doors or in Spanish touching doors ha-ha. And you get some pretty interesting people. For example we encountered a man who answered his door and he was butt naked and hairy and old and absolutely disgusting. And he asked if we were those Mormons and we said yes. He then slammed the door in our face. Normally this would be a sad ending to a story but for us we rejoiced. I didn’t want to talk to a naked man who was alone in his house for too long...we normally just get a shake of the finger which means no or most don’t even answer their door. But imp exhausted and it doesn’t help that I'm sick. I don’t know what it is but I’m always coughing and there is a rattling in my lungs. I called Sister Barney, she is the medical person for this mission, and she said just to take some medicine and some other stuff. I just need to buck up. Oh and yes I loved the interesting stories that you send. If you can find more you can send them to me. Which reminds me could you make a copy of that book that we always talk about and send it to me. And could you send a copy of Mormon doctrine by Bruce R McKonkie too. And you talked about a game called hearts. Could you send me the rules on that and the game we played in scouts while we were at Bear Lake? It was the one with all of the dice and cups. You can talk to bro moss about it. I just need some simple games to play. And I have decided I’m going to start putting a weird thing from Uruguay in all of my emails. So this weeks is...people here all say they are allergic to heat from chilies and stuff like that. And they all think it’s the most vile poison known to man. It’s hilarious. But they all drink wine and smoke. I wonder who is going to live longer hahahahahha....

2 Nephi 33:3

     '...for I pray continually for them by day, and mine eyes water my pillow by night, because of them; and I cry unto my God in faith, and I know he will hear my cry.'

Oh and news that is fairly recent today in the stake center a bunch of missionaries were playing Futbol and one sister missionary named Hmashaw was there. And in her ward here there is a man who has an obsessive crush on her. Well he was there at the church waiting for her to leave. But our zone leaders saw him and asked what he was doing and he said I’m waiting for my Hma Shaw. And they said he needed to go. But he said no I’m not leaving without my Hma Shaw. And he said they would have to force him to leave. So one of our zone leaders named elder Nygard, who has been wrestling since he was 4 and is a freaking STUD. Picked him up wrestling style and started to carry him out. Well this man started to punch Elder Nygard in the back of the head. Then elder Nygard fell down and this man ran up and punched our other zone leader in the face. Then he left. And this man has been making some trouble for this sister missionary in the past and he has gone too far. I think they’re going to close their area or do changes or something. I’m so sad for her. I never saw this I was told by another missionary who was there. Freaking intense. If I was there I would have beat the day lights out of the guy. And this guy has his mission call to go serve in Argentina. What a loser...