Jake's e-mail from 5/21/2012

So on Saturday we had a baptism. Whooooooooooooooooooooooo hoooooooooooooooo. It was a little chubby nine year old named Franco. He is super cool. He knows a lot about the church because his mom is a member less active. And a couple of days before there was a problem. He said he likes to drink beer. And he is 9 years old. What the heck. So we talked to him and dropped the Cain a little. And he said he would live the word of wisdom. So that was good. My companion performed the baptism and the confirmation. Which is ok. And it has been the first baptism in our area for 6 months. That is a long time. But we have 3 more coming in the next couple of weeks. I'm so happy right now, I might vomit...just kidding. And a couple of weeks ago the youth went to the temple and I asked them to pick up some stuff for me from the distribution center. Like cool pamphlets or DVDs or book. Just whatever. And they said there easy literally nothing. I guess people from Argentina come in and buy everything when a new shipment comes in. so you have to get in there before they do. So it was a bummer but what can you do. And I bought my sleeping bag today to. It's not the very best but it will be sufficient for my needs. And I'm trying to find a new backpack too. Mine is super awesome but it is too big. Walking around with it on makes my back sweaty even though it is cold. So when I take it off I get super cold. And a lot of time there is literally no room in a member's house to put my backpack. So I'm looking for a new one. I have a very specific one in mind but I haven't found it yet. And one of my zone leaders asked if it would be ok if we stayed in the same area as a companionship. We both told him yes. But I doubt it will be executed. But I guess we will see. Two of the other missionaries say that I'm going to be training next change. But I don't feel ready for that and it's too early in my mission. When you get to be a trainer you have a "kid" and you are called the dad. It's a tradition here. But I'm not ready to have a kid...jajaja. So in the last email you mentioned a game called hearts. How do you play that? And could you guys make a list of your favorite scriptures and an explanation of why and send it to me. I just love stuff like that. Well not much else going on here. Love you all bye... oh and did you find more pictures on my phone?

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Con Amor  Elder Salmond

Jake's Post 5/14/2012

So I really don't know what to write since we talked on Skype. Hopefully we have all the bugs fixed by Christmas. But tomorrow we are going to have a zone conference. I want it to come so bad. It is a good break and we have some fun as well. I don't know what the subject is on but I know it will be inspiring.  That is so cool that Jim wants to go out with you guys. I'm a little jealous. If you have a chance tell him I said hi and wish I could be there. Tell me everything. And it's cool about all of the other Bigfoot stuff like the DNA project and the percentages of the DNA. Wow. Really cool stuff. But it stinks that it is confidential because I want to tell people. But I won't. I kind of feel like a spy because I'm in a different country with strange people. Wearing clothes that an FBI agent would wear and be given confidential material. Wow. My dream has come true.  And I'm not going to lie because speaking Spanish to you all was kind of funny because of your faces. It was a mix of I don't understand and? What?. I don't know if my Spanish is even that good. But I can about the gospel the best. But if they turn it to another subject that is where I get a little confused. And after we got done on Skype the mom of the family gave us chorizo. Yummmmmmmmmyyyy. I do have some favors to ask...what is the order of winning hands in poker? And could you send me some instructions for simple but amazing card/magic tricks? The kids here love them. And you talk to the bishop or someone and get my line of authority? And if you can could you laminate it like my patriarchal blessing so it will last forever? and also in that package you are going to send I do have some ideas... a super hero shirt ( like the avengers), candy like Twix or Reese's or starburst, more taco mix, hot coco mix, photos of all the cousins and family and pets and whatever else, a bunch of our recipes that are easy to make (like your yummy cookies), and a really really nice oil vile ( I need one that will last because my other one broke and I cant buy one here), or whatever else you can think of. Sorry that this letter isn't very long...bye

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Con Amor  Elder Salmond- an instrument in the hands of the LORD

Jake's e-mail from 5/7/2012

Ok so I just read a little that you wrote this week and I'm going to answer some questions that you have that are important. First is that on the 13th of May. This Sunday. I will be using Skype if one member will let me use it. If not just be by the phone. I will call in the afternoon or in the night a little. But I won't call in the morning or before or during church. Your time there is 3 hours behind here. So just be by your ipad or have the phone free. It was actually bad because in the announcements last week it said we would be calling tomorrow but we called president to see what is going on. He said they messed up and it's actually on the 13th. That is why I haven't really given details or it seems like I'm rushing things. So sorry for that. But I'm hoping really bad that I can use Skype. I'm about 85 percent sure that I will be able to. Oh and thanks for the photos from my phone. But I think more photos are in my phone. You can switch them to my memory card and then email them. My comp saw the picture of Felicity. He liked it...but I'm so glad we broke up. I don't want to get distracted. It's good to be free. Plus I'm thinking of plans for my future. I still have the goal of 4 months to have a fiancé. Just kidding, but seriously. Ok, this weather here is so stupid its back to ridiculous heat. But last week I was dying from the cold. What the heck. I just want it to be cold. But at night it's generally cold. So that helps. And about the draft thing. I was going to lie and say that I did it but to tell the truth I don't remember doing it. It may have been when we registered me to vote or something. Honestly I don't know. And you could you do me a favor. Could you send a book of how to play the piano for dummies? Or something like that. I want to expand the horizon of my skills and I think the piano would be a good start. A lot of missionaries learn how to play in the mission. One could start playing hymns in sacrament after 6 months of practice. So I want to learn. And it's crazy because I really don't remember anything from before my mission. Like movies, music, stories, books, or stuff like that. I don't know why. It can get frustrating if I want to reflect upon a good movie but don't remember it. Am I going crazy? And it's the same with my speaking ability. I'm in the phase that a lot of missionaries go through. I don't remember Spanish or English very well. Ahhhhhh...........

Another thing I want to mention is that Luke needs to start preparing for the mission. Unlike me I want him to be prepared. And not have to worry about learning everything a new, but have the skills and knowledge that a missionary needs. So encourage him to study preach my gospel and apply the things it says. And also there is DVDs that we use in the mission for training. They are called preach my gospel DVDs. there is a district 1 and a district 2. If you could buy these and have him watch and study them that could help with his preparation. I love you all. And I think I'm still going strong. I have two investigators with a date for baptism. I know they will be baptized. It's just the waiting that's the killer. I love you all.

Oh and I bought brass knuckles today...

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Con Amor  Elder Salmond- capo, guapo, snaker

Jake's 4/30/2012

Wow so it’s been getting really really cold here. It’s crazy how fast it came on. It’s literally like someone turned a switch. And here in South America it’s a lot different because there is no such thing as a heater for your house. Well there is but it’s just a light bulb that can get hot. But a lot of people use the fireplace for their warmth. But as missionaries we are not allowed to use it. So it’s been really really cold. You know its cold when you can see your breath in your house in the middle of the day. Weird stuff. But I’m glad it’s here. I have been in summer too long. And it feels great. And the other day it was raining really bad and the street was a river. It reminded me of the 50 miler. And I don’t know why. And for about 4 weeks now I haven’t been able to eat a lot. At home I could down 3 or 4 plates of food but now it’s really hard to finish just 2. Its weird but I don’t know why. And I bought a sweater. It took forever. I think 2 hours because the clothes here are made a lot different. And I also had to buy a new belt too. And it’s really cool. Its leather with a stitch work design in it. And yesterday I thought I would have to kill a dog. It was not on a chain and it was barking up a storm and it was charging us bearing all of its teeth. So I thought if it went for me I would take it down with my knife skills. But there is a technique here that people use. If you have your bag in front of you they usually don’t attack or if they do they go for your bag. So then you can do whatever is necessary to get it away. But the dog thing here is pretty bad. And can get scary. For example when there are about 5 dogs that want to kill you. Intense. But we just yell 'fueda che'. And make a loud kissing noise. I don’t know why but it works. It’s a lot different here. Oh or you can throw rocks at them. That works too. And I don’t like to pet any dog here. Whether it is wild or tame. Because they are all nasty with something. Its takes awhile for me to determine if it’s safe to pet or not. And you have to watch your hands. Because if they are at your side the dogs like to bite them. But I haven’t had any really bad experiences just close calls. But I do have a favor to ask of you. Could you send me some pepper spray for the dogs? Because I really don’t want to have to deal with killing a dog or a mauling. So I think it would be safe to have some on me. There is none here. Oh and also in my desk in my room. In the drawer that is above the chair, my phone is in there. Could you take the memory card out and send it to me in a letter. It’s really small so I think it would work in a letter. But it has pictures of my ex's. And for some reason everybody here wants to know about them and see them. So those two favors would help me a lot. I love you all. And remember to drive fast and take chances. Oh and if you’re not cheating you’re not trying.

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Con Amor  Elder Salmond- capo, guapo, snaker

Jake's Post for April 24, 2012

Wow this week went by really really fast. So last night we went to a member’s house. His name is Santiago. And we made tacos. Like real authentic tacos. Because my companion is from Guatemala so he knows how to do it right. And we bought 2.5 kilos of meat. It’s about 5.5 pounds. So there was a ton and it was so delicious. I used my packets for it. It reminded me so much of home. Un poco trunkie. But it was good. And this week is changes. But I’m staying in T-BO with elder Pineda for another change. Which I understand. We are going to rock this change. Oh I forgot to mention when we went to make tacos we stopped at another member’s house to chat and I saw on the television a commercial for....The Avengers. What the heck it looks so freaking good. I almost started to cry at its magnificence. I got really really home sick when I saw that. I might have to sneak out and watch it. Jaja just kidding. But I do want to hear all about it. And I think winter is coming because it’s starting to get really cold here. And it’s a different kind of cold because of the humidity. I think I need to buy warmer clothing so I took out some money. But I love the cold. I have been hot too long. And it’s so funny because my comp has a snake. Jaja but she is not attractive at all and she has no teeth. Hahaha. And every time we visit she says 'hello my love' to him. It’s so funny. It grosses him out so bad. And now all the members are feeding us lunch and sometimes dinner. I think I’m going to gain all my weight back. It’s a ton of food here. Most of its delicious but others it instant diarrhea. But I haven’t crapped my pants yet.  I have been close a couple of times but not yet. 10 points to me. And also I know I have Facebook now. I saw it hahaah. I had a youth in the ward look me up and there I was. It is so cool. I have like 54 friends and I know most of them. But I’m going to have everyone friend me so be prepared. And I like how you put stuff I wrote in it to. And my photos. But could you put this in for me for the people in T-BO. 'Hola me amigos in Tacuarembó como andan? Si ustedes pueden leer este muy bien pero si no, perdon. Pero yo quiero decir algo que es muy bonita pero no puedo pensar de algo. JAJAJAJA. Vamos Arriba Barrio Ferrocarril’. Well I don’t know if that made sense or not in Spanish. Because a lot of phrases and word in English don't translate over to Spanish. But I hope you loved this email. If you didn’t well...

Oh and for mom and whoever else. Send a separate email with every question you can think of so I can answer them all. I expect it to be at least 5 pages long. And I will answer them all. 

Jake's e-mail for today...

These photos are mainly the pday I had today. All the ones with me in the plaid shirt are from today. Like me kicking a tree to my floating magic trick. Me sitting by a tree or lake. Ya we went all the way into the country for pday to have a picnic. And I also got 'drunk'. Ha-ha. And with the bandana we went to a party at one of the member's house. I think I described them all but if you have comments or questions let me know.

Well Easter here is a lot different because everyone sleeps during the entire week. It’s not just a one day holiday it’s all week. And it made it really hard for us because we didn’t have anyone answer their door. It was really frustrating. Even members didn’t answer their door. So that week went by a little slow but oh well. It’s the mission. And all we did for Easter was work. Nothing new or exciting. And it was kind of funny because I got sick and I took some Benadryl for my nose to clear out and let’s just say it worked, but I took two so it would work really fast. Well let’s just say that I don’t remember that day. All I remember is that it was raining and we visited a family called Roura. But other than that I don’t know. My companion said I was really sleepy and fell asleep a couple of times. Wow. And I think it did that because I’m already tired from everything else and that just pushed me over the edge. And it’s also weird because this has been the most tired I have ever been but yet I still have the strength to do what is necessary. Cool huuh. And yesterday we borrowed the bikes of our zone leaders to go in to the country more and it was really hilly and super far. And turns out that no one really lives out there. So that day was a little fun. But I got to see a lot of country which was nice. And about my speakers I bought those separate from my mp3 and they only cost 35 dollars. Which here is cheap. And it came with two speakers and a sub woofer. And it can get pretty loud. It’s just nice to hear music. 

And that is so cool that Luke turned 16. We are all growing up. Just think in 3 more years he will be in the mission. Cool. And that is some pretty nice stuff he got to. Especially the food. Because here they don’t have things like peanut butter or American candy. Wow. The food here is all pasta and rice. I think I have eaten rice or pasta everyday here. And it’s really nice when they put something on it. It’s usually a sauce called tuco. It’s a mix between taco meat and beef stew. And it has an ok flavor but not when you eat it all the time. That’s when it is nice when they change the recipe a little. But it’s mainly vegetables blended up not meat. But overall I freaking love my mission. I mean I wouldn’t trade it for anything in this world. I know it’s hard and different and hot but wow I learn or do something new each day. I love the people here too they are so nice and are willing to do anything for you. Even give you all they have to help. Which we decline but the people here are really poor. But there is something special here in the members that I haven’t seen anywhere else. It’s quite distinct and I’m loving it. I just love my mission and can’t describe how I feel when I think, hey I’m on a mission. I’m so glad I made the decision to come out here.

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Con Amor  Elder Salmond- capo, guapo, snaker

Jake's e-mail from April 9, 2012

You know the famous line if you can dodge traffic you can dodge a ball? Well I think I can dodge a ball pretty good know ...Well I got a lot of things to say in this letter so sorry if it seems random or parts don’t make sense. But I would like to get a full depth explanation about the Hunger Games because I have been waiting for the movie forever and now I have to wait another 19 months. Ahhhh. I bet it was really good job. And something amazing happened in our last district meeting. I got my Christmas package from grandma and grandpa. Yummy. Tell them thanks for me. And I got a letter from Elida too. Wow. I was so excited to read it. She mentioned Luke in it when you guys went in and talked with Gary. She is also going to be a manger too. And we also got cell phones too. It makes it way easier and cheaper for us now that we have them. And it’s sad but I forgot how to use a cell phone. So I had to relearn it all. And the situation for my mp3 is that I just transfer music when I write you guys. Because we go to these places called Dcyber. And it’s just like an internet place where you can use the internet or play games or whatever.  And my comp is Elder Pineda from Guatemala. His Spanish is a lot easier to understand than my trainer (or papa). And he is really cool and super friendly. And he is really small too. So it’s a huge contrast from my size to his. And he’s been in the mission about 1 year now. And last week all of our investigators that we kind of picked up from the last Elders ran dry so we are going to start all over again in our area and rework a lot of it. It’s going to be a big challenge. Oh and do you have info on the leather scripture cases from Seth too. I would like to know if I could get some. And with the Facebook thing just accept all who want to be my friend. Because you know I’m so popular. And if they start to write in Spanish to you. Haha sorry. and I thought it was going to be winter here but it’s still a little hot. So I shaved my head. I know right. Just like when I was a kid. And it’s a lot easier to take care of too. And at a member’s house too I saw about 30 second commercial for UFC and I got super trunkie too. Wow it’s been awhile. Any good fights lately? Hey could you send me a Tapout or UFC shirt in a future package...

Well I read in the April Liahona an article by Elder Bednar and he talked about the Atonement. And a lot of people think the Atonement is only for repentance but it can also give us strength in time of need. And he said we should pray to give us strength to change our circumstances not to pray to change our circumstances. That way I think we can learn and adapt better to our challenges. Well take care ya'll. Love ya...

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Con Amor Elder Salmond- capo, guapo, snaker