It has been more than a week since Shay and I returned from Richard's funeral. I have had more time to reflect but it has not made it easier.
Shay and I started out the journey to Seattle after I got off of work on the sixth of October.
Lareen was kind enough to let us use her
Passat which was really nice. Most of the driving was done at night. About three or so in the morning my eyes started to bug out on me. We had to pull over at a rest area in the middle of the mountains. I shut my eyes to rest them for about an hour while Shay was awake looking for Bigfoot. That is what she said not me. We got to Justin and
Nic's house early in the morning. We hit the sack and woke up early. The rest of the story may not be in order but I will throw things in as I remember them.
This is the row of houses that Justin and
Nic live one. They are on the right.
Here is Shay holding my clothes and looking sexy.
So what look do you think I am getting or she just trying to figure out what Buffet to take us to.
See now Grace knew I had the camera. She was playing hard to get but I am a patient man. I have several of her with her head down but at some point in time you have to be curious if I am still pointing it in the same direction.
This is at Richard funeral. These are the tables that tell something about Richard. Here Peter is setting up some figures that Richard painted. Richard is the brother who introduced me into gaming.
Here is Peter again with Jason, Ben and Alan in the background.
A Mother should never have to bury their child. My Mother told me on the phone that her thoughts of Richard were not as an adult but as a three year old little boy excited to go to Salt Lake with his Dad and Mom. You never know the perspective of someone and how they remember you. Richard touched more people than he probably realized in life.
The two most important woman in his life.
Grace is giving a parting gift.
Marilyn and Mom.
Here are some of Richards favorite things.
Painted Miniatures.
In honor of him.
Richard served in the military at the end of the Vietnam war era.
Richards son Eric about to receive the flag from Richards coffin to present to his Mother with three brass casings from the twenty one gun solute.
The honor of a son paying tribute to his father and mother.
We will miss you.
Richard is in good company.
His grandson Nate. I was told he love to play games with his grandpa.
In the time we were in Seattle we did other things that did not pertain to Richards
funeral. We did some catching up with each other and spent some time getting to know each other again. We went to Pike's Market to do some sight seeing. After parking I had to make a mad dash to the bathroom. A small
Chinese man about got floored because he was moving so slow and almost took the last stall. He was lucky this time. After I came back I found out that Shay had lost her cell phone. I just remembered where she had it on her leg and when she got out it fell in the side of the door. When we were at pikes market we saw Rudy and Kathy. Ian reached his arm out to scare Rudy and scare Rudy he did by sneaking up from behind. Rudy made on of those screams... how did Eric put it... oh ya... it was not one of bravery but I am about to die. I also noticed Rudy took out a pen to defend himself against Ian. That was very funny. In Pikes Market I taught Grace how to chase pigeons just in case she get hungry. We picked up some Bigfoot shot glasses for the kids. That took a while doing all of that.
This is at the Olive Garden our last night. Mary is happy here because she saw me with a camera in my had and loves getting her picture taken. She also may be happy because this is not a buffet.
See... Ian knew this was coming. I am actually being nice. I am only posting one of these pictures of him and making fun of him. I had more.
What?.... Did you want to go to another awesome Buffet?
Don't you just hate when someone at the table has a camera and a blog. Right about now I think
Nic is hating that combo.
I will give you four guesses as to who the suspect is at this table that is responsible for my corpse in the parking lot.
When we were at the Olive Garden it was all you can eat pasta. We were all passing around the one menu for the choices. Justin ended up with it last. Well Justin had the misfortune of sitting next to me. I had already made him uncomfortable of being so close to me by putting my hand on his leg and rubbing it... Hey! I thought it was funny. Well while Justin put it down I stole it and pinned it under the table with my knee. The waitress then came around taking orders and was about to get to Justin when I started handing all of the menus to her. Justin tried to stop me because he thought I handed her the all you can eat pasta menu. Well he wanted it back so he could order. What I handed her was the regular menu. She starts looking for it but can't find it. Then everyone at the table starts moving stuff around trying to find the menu. It then turns into semi desperation by the waitress and everyone else. Shay after about ten seconds or so looks at me and just stares. After a good thirty seconds I couldn't let the waitress suffer any more so I revealed the menu. It was funny. When we left Ian told me afterwards that the waitress was hitting on Justin asking him if she had ever served him before.
Hmmm....
The buffet joke started the first night when
Nic took us to this buffet that was... a... it sucked! The best thing was the mac and cheese. It sucked because we like to give
Nic crap about everything. Justin did introduce to an awesome hamburger the day before in the Mall so I couldn't be to upset.
Another buffet they took us to was Richard's
fav. It was a
Chinese buffet with really authentic food. Lets just put it this way. I made the mistake of sitting next to Eric who eats anything. I did try one his baby whole octopus's though. Once and only once will I eat that giant
squishy rubber band sucker
tentacle thingy that
gooshes in your mouth. Yew!! The Sushi bar and cocktail shrimp where awesome though.
At Justin's house Justin did take Ian's seat once and then was made very uncomfortable by Ian lifting his shirt while moving towards him. Very funny.
At Ben's house Eric and Ben tried the hot sauce I brought and about died.
Shay thought she had to show I.D. to buy 2% milk the last night. She was tired and the store didn't have any small milks. So when I went to get gas she went in to get her a milk for the next day. The old dude behind the counter paused for a minute while stating the milk was 2% and then said he needed to see her I.D. and Shay bought it.
Justin and
Nic made deep fried
Twinkies for me and everyone else because I said I had never had one.
Annette gave me all of Richard's Flames of War, Epic 40K, Gothic and permitted me to get a really good deal on some
Brettonian's for
Warhammer. That was hard to do because it drove it home even more. I also got some other games of his.
There was the picking and wiping
incident at Justin's house.
We are grateful to Justin and Nic for letting us stay at there house. The week had the lows and highs. It helped me reflect on things in my life that I have kind of lost the passion for but are really important to me.
Being the youngest sibling I kinda of thought I might see some of my siblings pass before me. I thought those years were in the distant future. I will miss my brother. He was good to me. I hope he is happy.
Here is the talk I gave at his funeral...
I am humbled and honored for the privilege to say a few words today. I sat and pondered what I might say today that might lend a comforting word or thought to those who loved Richard Salmond and mourn his loss. We have been greatly blessed today with the Lords spirit. I pray that the words spoken today will be of comfort to the family and friends of Richard.
When the Prophet Gordon B. Hinkley lost his eternal companion several years before his own passing he suffered greatly at the loss. He testified and I quote, “At funerals we speak words intended to give comfort. But in reality they afford but little comfort. Only those who have passed through this dark valley know its utter desolation. To lose one’s much loved partner with whom one has long walked through sunshine and shadow is absolutely devastating. There is a consuming loneliness which increases in intensity. It painfully gnaws at one’s very soul. But in the quiet of the night a silent whisper is heard that says ‘all is well’, ‘all is well’, and that voice from out of the unknown brings peace, and certainty and unwavering assurance that death is not the end, that life goes on, with work to do and victories to be gained. That voice quietly, even unheard with mortal ears, brings the assurance that as surely as there has been separation, there will be a joyful reuniting. And so with that firm assurance you will go on. There will be days of loneliness and nights of longing, but the sunlight of faith will shine again and the fires of love will warm you.”
How comforting and reassuring is that testimony from a prophet of God. I can’t speak of Richard without speaking of Annette, Richards beloved companion. Through these many months when Richard needed Annette the most she was there giving selfless service to her husband. This is an example of the dedication and love Annette has for Richard. Richard was her life and her joy. That effort and example does not go unnoticed by earthly eyes or heavenly eyes, “when ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God.”
I have pondered and studied the remarks of Elder Joseph Wirthlin of the quorum of the twelve apostles which he delivered in an October conference. He had recently buried his sweetheart and companion of some 65 years. He testified that she was his greatest joy and now her passing his greatest sorrow. He spoke of the resurrection and bore strong testimony as to past prophets and their teachings. President Joseph F. Smith said, “That those with whom we have to part here, we will meet again and see as they are. We will meet the same identical being that we associated with here in the flesh.” President Spencer W. Kimball said, “I am sure that if we can imagine ourselves at our very best, physically, mentally, spiritually, that this is the way we will come back.”
Elder Wirthlin testified that when the Savior arose from the tomb, he did something that no one had ever done. He did something no one else could do. He broke the bonds of death, not only for himself but for all who have ever lived. When Christ rose from the grave, he made that gift available to all. And with that act, He softened the devastating, consuming sorrow that gnaws at the souls of those who have lost precious loved ones.
He said “ I think of how dark that Friday was when Christ was lifted upon the cross. On that terrible Friday the earth shook and grew dark. Mary Magdelene and Mary, the mother of Jesus, were both overcome with grief and despair. On that Friday the apostles were devastated. On that Friday the Savior of mankind was humiliated and bruised, abused and reviled. It was a Friday filled with devastating, consuming sorrow. I think that of all the days. Since the beginning of this world’s history, that Friday was the darkest. But the doom of that day did not endure.
The despair did not linger because on Sunday, the resurrected Lord burst the bonds of death. He ascended from the grave and appeared gloriously triumphant as the Savior of all mankind.
Jesus the Christ, the Son of the living God, stood before them as the first fruits of the resurrection, the proof that death is merely the beginning of new and wondrous existence.
Elder Wirthlin concluded “Each of us will have our own Fridays, those days when the universe itself seems shattered and the shards of our world lie littered about us in pieces. We will all experience those broken times when it seems we can never be put together again. We will all have our Fridays. But I testify to you in the name of the one who conquered death, Sunday will come. In the darkness of our sorrow, Sunday will come. In this life or the next, Sunday will come.”
I have the privilege of having several memories of Richard and the influence he had on my life. From my affinity with dipping ruffles potato chips in cottage cheese to many of my current hobbies. He was a brother who had time for me. He is, if I can do the math right around eleven years my senior. When I was very young, around ten years old Richard had time for me. He got me into painting miniatures and playing games of all types. My favorite game was called ‘Squad Leader’. It is a bookcase game where you control infantry and vehicles battling your opponent. The setting is in World War II. You reenacted historical situations in the game. Because of that game and another game that involved WWII aircraft I have a fascination with the subject. I also have a great respect for those who have served in our countries armed forces such as Richard did to protect and preserve the freedoms that I enjoy. If you were to ask any one of my children about the sacrifices of those men and women, some of whom have laid down their lives they would be able to tell you what it means to me. I stress that subject to my children, the sacrifices of those that served and currently serve. The roots of this can be traced back to a game that I was introduced to as a boy by an older brother who had time for me. I spent many hours at my brother’s house. Richard use to have a job at the Ogden Temple as a night watchman. He would sit in the guard shack and make his rounds and set times. I remember sitting in that guard shack early in the AM playing games only taking breaks to perform his duties.
On a spring day in the latter weeks of my seventh grade year I was waiting for my brother Richard to come and pick me up. We had a night full of gaming and activities planned. I was at my friends house up the block from my own. My brother drove by and I proceeded to use my skateboard down the sidewalk to meet him at my house. I remember hitting a crab apple pit, my skateboard stopped but I did not. I woke up on my back and my right arm was in extreme pain. I went to get up but my arm did not come with me as it should. I started yelling for my friend who was already riding his bike to me. I told him to go and get my brother Richard. I did not ask for anyone else. I knew at that moment he would know what to do. Unlike the so called lady who was confessing she was a nurse running to my aid. She grabbed my arm, which I was not in favor of. Lifted it up to reveal that my arm was now in the shape of the letter ‘Z’. I expressed my discomfort and she dropped my arm. Ouch. Richard arrived taking control of the situation very calmly. My arm was broken completely above the elbow and the upper portion was split all the way to my shoulder joint explaining why it had the shape it did when the lady picked it up. On the way to the hospital my brother covered me in a blanket because I was going into shock and made conversation the entire way. This was the type of heart my brother had.
Elder Orson F. Whitney taught some very comforting doctrine which has blessed the lives of many who suffer in this mortal life. He declared, “ No pain we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude and humility. All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure it patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable, more worthy to be called the children of God. And it is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation that we gain the education that we came here to acquire and which will make us more like our Father and Mother in Heaven.”
In the Doctrine and Covenant section 58 we read, “ Ye cannot behold with your natural eyes, for the present time, the design of your God concerning those things which shall come hereafter, and the glory which shall follow after much tribulation. For after much tribulation come the blessings. Wherefore the day cometh that ye shall be crowned with much glory; the hour is not yet, but is nigh at hand.”
I personally believe there is good in all things that we go through and have to endure. There is greater effort at times than others to find that good and learn from it but just the same the good is there.
How I admire you Annette and your family and how you have endured and handled the events of the past few months. Events that I hope never to be faced with and that I would not wish on anyone. I don’t pretend to know what you are going through nor would I venture to guess the pain and anguish that has fallen upon you. You and your family are left with many choices that will shape and mold your future here on earth. If we can but peer through the bleakness, the pain, the anguish of this situation there is good that can be found and rewards to be had. I believe the greatest honor we can give Richard is by finding the good in all of this and knowing that he is no longer suffering and is resting in the care of his Lord and Savior.
When tragedy happens or I feel the weight of the world on my shoulder I think of individuals who had it worse than me and found the good and became better people because of it. One such story takes us back to World War II. In 1945 a concentration camp of Wuppertal was liberated. In that camp was a Polish survivor by the nickname of Wild Bill Cody because of his handle bar mustache. The author of the book Return from Tomorrow recounts that he thought Wild Bill had not been there long because of his physical appearance and his out look on life. His attitude was upbeat and positive. He knew five languages so they needed him to help process everyone else in camp. It was a few weeks before it was learned that Wild Bill had been there since 1939 on the same diet, same environment as everyone else that looked like death warmed over. He was full of life, was always smiling and loved and cared for everyone. He also had one of the most tragic stories to be told. When the Germans arrived in Warsaw Poland they lined his wife and five children against a wall and shot them. He lived because he could speak German and was needed in a work group. He was faced with a choice. I quote, “ I was a lawyer. In my practice I had seen too often what hate could do to people’s minds and bodies. Hate had just killed the six people who mattered most to me in the world. I decided then that I would spend the rest of my life – whether it was a few days or many years – loving every person I came in contact with,” end quote. I share that story because it is one of my favorite stories about enduring and finding the good in all things. In the darkest moments of our life we are given choices and paths to follow. Good and bad, great or small. It is what we do with those choices that matters most. The Savior himself loved those that made him suffer and ultimately resulted in his death. This is a time of sorrow and mourning but it also a time of hope and choices.
How eternally grateful we are for the love the Savior has for each of us. He promised that he would not leave us comfortless. Your family has and will continue to be blessed by the Holy Ghost, even the Comforter.
Through tears we can rejoice as we contemplate the joyful reunion Richard has experienced with his family members. May I in conclusion share the words of the Prophet Gordon B. Hinkley who testified, “ I know as sure as anything in this world that someday I shall die as to the life of this world. But I have an absolute certainty in my heart that I shall go on living and doing good and having the association of my beloved companion and my children. This life is part of eternity. This is one stage of our eternal lives.”
May you always remember the assurance of a prophet of God that as surely as there has been separation, there will be a joyful reuniting. There will be days of loneliness and nights of longing, but the sunshine of faith will shine and the fires of love will warm you. Richard loves you and your children Annette. He is now on the other side watching, waiting and praying for you. My prayers and thoughts are with you and your family. Richard was a great brother to me. His influence is present in my life. We will miss him, I will miss him.
